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Strategies to Help You Worry Less

By Dr. Randi Fredricks, Ph.D.

It’s critical to our physical and emotional health to learn the difference between normal, healthy worry and worry that is unfounded or irrational. A useful stress management skill is to learn how to minimize your worrying once you’ve realized that it has become unhealthy.

Needless worry takes a toll on our energy, our time, our emotions and our sleep. We find ourselves unable to focus on our tasks and unpleasant to be around. Determining the worries that are valid and those that are not is extremely important to maintaining a healthy and well balanced life.

Here are some strategies to help you deal with unhealthy worry when it starts consuming your time and energy.

1. Write it down - Get those worries out of your head and put them out in the open. Try to be clear and specific about what exactly it is that you are worried about. Seeing a worry in print may help you let go of it, find an obvious solution to the problem, or when appropriate, inspire you to do something about it.

Journaling or keeping a diary is a good way to write down and release your worries on a regular basis.

2. Find someone to talk to - Whether you choose a friend, spouse or professional counselor, it can be extremely helpful to tell someone about your worries. Hearing yourself saying them out loud may be all it takes to help you realize that you’re worrying needlessly. In addition, your sounding board may be able to offer sound advice that can help you solve problems and reduce your stress.

3. Define the worst-case scenario - What’s the worst that could happen if your fear is realized? You will often find that the worst-case scenario is not as bad as you first imagined. Think about what you would do and how you would handle the situation if it actually happened.

Once you’ve clearly defined the worst-case scenario, decide that you can accept and deal with it if it does occur. This decision alone can eliminate many of your unhealthy worries.

4. Think about the likelihood of your worry coming true - In many cases, you may find yourself needlessly worrying about something that is very unlikely to happen. For example, if you live in California, the possibility of a tornado or hurricane is minimal.

Make a list of all the likely positive outcomes for each of your worries. The longer the list, the better it will help you counteract your worries.

5. Take action - Taking action is the best tool against worry because it shifts your focus away from worrisome thoughts toward positive and purposeful thoughts that are fully within your control.

There are two types of actions you can take to ensure that the worst-case scenario doesn’t happen: prevention and mitigation. You can even take these actions against worries that are completely out of your control.

Prevention actions reduce the likelihood of the worst-case scenario by improving your preparation and by identifying and reducing risk factors.

If you find that you are still worrying even after you’ve affected change on those pieces that you can control, it’s time to take steps to reduce the worrying, before it creates undue stress.

Talk to yourself about accepting things as they are - Positive affirmations that you have done everything you can do, and reminders that some things are out of your control can help ease your mind when worries blindside you.

Practice stress relief techniques - Breathe deeply to slow your heart rate and calm your nerves. Take a walk. Meditate or do a few minutes of yoga. Focusing on reducing the stress you feel at the moment can help get those worries out of your mind.

Remember the serenity prayer - Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.

There are people who, regardless of what steps they take on their own, cannot seem to let go of needless worry. If you find yourself feeling completely out of control with worry, you may be suffering from an anxiety disorder, and you may need counseling and medication to overcome your worries. If that is the case, a good therapist can recommend treatment plans that can reduce the emotional anguish that anxiety disorders can cause.

About the Author

Dr. Randi Fredricks, Ph.D. is a psychotherapist and author specializing in the treatment of mental health using integrative medicine and natural therapies. She works with individuals, couples, and families at her office in San Jose, California and is the founder of All Things Well, a certified provider of The Listening Program. Dr. Fredricks' publications include the landmark book Healing & Wholeness: Complementary and Alternative Therapies for Mental Health. No part of this article may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems. Disclaimer: This article is not intended to provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Views expressed here do not necessarily reflect those of Dr. Randi Fredricks as articles often present the published results of the research of other professionals. Copyright © 2012.



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Dr. Randi Fredricks, Ph.D., is a certified provider of the Listening Program. This site does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment and is intended for informational purposes only. No therapeutic relationship is established by the use of this site. Dr. Fredricks is a Licensed Marriage Family Therapist MFC 47803.
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