If your fear is hidden, how can you tell if it is what's sabotaging your weight loss?
When you have repeatedly attempted to lose weight but failed, and if you find you're sabotaging yourself, there's probably fear involved.
Another possible clue: You lose some weight but then level off and don't know why you can't make it to your (realistic) goal.
Pinpointing exactly what you're afraid of is a little tougher. Start by asking yourself what you think you might fear.
When thoughts start to come, don't dismiss them. Instead, list everything you might be afraid of, even if it seems irrelevant.
Give your brain permission to go deeper into the subconscious. When you're finished, look for patterns and surprises.
This technique really brings to the surface things you don't want to think about.
Next, record everything you eat for one week, as well as your feelings before, during and after eating. Does any one emotion come up over and over? Which ones are present when you overeat? Do the same thing with exercise, looking for clues as to why you don't stick with it.
Last, examine your fears during a safe, relaxing moment--doing yoga, having a massage, taking a walk. When you're relaxed, defenses often melt away.
Many people want to lose weight and nothing seems to work - dieting, exercise, fasting, exhaustion. Of course, nearly everyone drops a few pounds
fairly easily, only to gain it all back, and sometimes more.
On a conscious level, we blame it on a sweet tooth, lack of exercise, or genetics. On an unconscious level, hidden anxieties around weight
loss can keep us ‘stuck’ for years. Fear of:
- Attention from the opposite sex
- Being viewed as selfish and self-seeking
- Losing relationships with friends or business associates who are overweight
- Others will have greater expectations of you, expecting more of you
- You will expect more of yourself
Whether you have 10 or 100 pounds of extra weight; those extra pounds can serve as protection from the outside world.
What can you do to overcome the fear? The first thing is to recognize the actual source of your fear. Sit quietly and focus your attention inward.
When you feel peaceful and calm, ask yourself this question: What am I afraid of?
Several thoughts will come to the surface. Listen carefully - avoid dismissing or discounting them, even if you think it is trivial or unrelated. Allow your mind to keep digging deeper.
When you have completed a thorough examination, write down the thoughts that came to you. Do you see any patterns? Were there any surprises? Be kind with yourself as you discover your inner truth. Look at yourself with loving eyes, free of judgment and criticism.
After you have discovered the cause of your fear, shed some light on it by asking yourself:
- How does this fear serve me?
- What does the fear help me avoid?
- What does the fear offer me?
- Does the fear serve me in multiple ways?
FEAR = False Evidence Appearing Real. Fear is the feeling one resorts to as a way to protect oneself from future mishaps, disappointments or betrayals.
Is my fear justified now?
Whether your fear is justified or not, process your fear by expressing your concerns to a trusted friend, family member or professional.
Be sure the discussion takes place in a safe, relaxed atmosphere where your defenses are down. Then you will have a better opportunity to
understand the fallacy of your fear.
When you understand the fallacy of your fear, it won’t seem scary and you will be able to confront and resolve your anxieties, without
turning to food for comfort.
If self-analysis strategies don't work, seek help from a weight-loss counselor or support group, mutritionist or therapist.
By Dr. Randi Fredricks, Ph.D.
